Editor's Note: The following is a drawing from one of our siblings (who wishes to remain anonymous) who participated in the Even This Way bereavement and accompaniment. One of the week's activities invites siblings to give their grief, their sibling, and/or their experiences a visual dimension, usually through some artistic medium. Sibling H describes her experience in the program as well as the artistic meaning of her piece.
At first, I saw the task of giving my sister a name quite daunting. I was afraid of giving her the wrong name. Her name suddenly hit me like an arrow. I remember that my father wanted to give me another name but my mother did not allow it, she gave me another name without his input. After that, he wanted to name his next daughter the name he had in mind. He did not have that chance...
My mother always insisted that if any of her children had a girl, she should be given that special name my father wanted, but it never happened.
That name was left unclaimed for more than 35 years. The name came to my mind and it just clicked, a perfect fit for my little sister, the name she was meant to have. A name that was prepackaged with my father's love.
I felt so happy I could actually give her something, and I felt honored to do so. Something that was missing, something that validated her existence. It felt liberating in a sense, finally fulfilling my father's wishes and giving a gift to her that no one else would, something that she was denied because she didn't get the chance to be born.
On the image above:
When asked to make an art piece about her, the only image that came to my mind is her standing in a beautiful green field with flowers, under a tree with Jesus holding her hand in heaven. She is happy and safe. Every curl, every line is intentional, I got to know her through drawing her. A curious, happy, energetic, smart little girl. And now I know her name for when we meet in heaven.
These two activities from the program, helped me process my grief, I am very thankful for this program. I encourage other siblings to try it.
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